Burn
the Books: Secrets, Sex, Lies and Literature
What will I teach my daughters about being
themselves? How can I suffer myself the task of preparing them to be perfect
and chaste women while the secrets of my own girlhood are one journal, letter,
book or conversation away from being laid bare? Far from a pure or perfect
person, I am a poor example of both. I am also irreverently proud of those facts. As I prepare to reap the life I
have sown so many planting seasons ago, I also prepare to face ugly truths and
to do so unabashedly.
I urge mothers to be women with a past and to be
women who have earned their stripes and the right to “preach” to their
daughters. I will teach my daughters that perfection and purity are unnecessary
goals. Love must again be unconditional. I will tell my daughters the truth
about my life in small morsels until they are ready for larger portions. As
mothers, we have no right to be secret-keepers for life and death are empowered
by our testimonies where only death and destruction would dare silence us.
Aziza Kibibi is an East Orange based culinary artist
whose forthcoming book, Unashamed, will make you ponder ancient secrets of the
world and secrets within your own family. As women, we have dreamed of being
queens but many of us do not focus on ruling the day. Instead, women have
traditionally been silenced. Today I make the most of opportunities for
empowerment as I contribute to conversations about simply being women: single, married, seeking, mama, martyr, mayhem,
militant and everything in between. Kibibi’s autobiography deals with various
cannons of social, psychological and historical thought. Her very delicate
golden web of words is encrusted in the threads of the global conscience which
binds all women to the first woman, Eve.
As I think about the impact of history, genetics,
and time upon the way in which I raise my own daughters, I am glad that there
are women who have come full circle in their views of humanity and self that
they might pave the way for others. Speaking candidly with my daughters as they
grow older is important to me. Kibibi prepares her readers to deal with sexual
taboo, secrets, lies and incest in this literary awakening that provides a
sweet, clear caviar of truth in the snare of man’s demons.
I urge mothers, sisters, daughters and best friends
to be resolute in speaking their truths with each other that they might enjoy a
brief moment in the light. Read books that challenge you at your innermost core
and which push you to think about and imagine who you are beyond what you have
been told. Do your research. I tried it myself and lost my religion in the
process. Welcome to the faith. You are in good company.
